childrensministry.com: Working With a Difficult Senior Pastor

7/22/2010 11:47:55 AM
theminmom said: This was such a helpful article. I have worked for five years in one church and three in another (concurrently). Both have lousy senior pastors. But, at one, the lousy senior pastor wants nothing to do with children (sad but at least he leaves me alone). At the other, I am treated with disrespect and as if I am a teenage worker (I am 47 years old!). He has completely taken over the Sunday School and now dictates to me what curriculum we are using, what my job description is (nothing like I was told) and so forth. I am praying for a new job but can't afford to quit this one. It's very stressful.

1/1/2010 4:49:18 PM
blinkyrp said: This was encouraging to read in that I experienced much of what you were saying. Although it was not the Senior Pastor but the new executive pastor, that came in with arrogance and disrespect for my role as children's director. I tried to focus on what God would have me do despite his threats and condescending attitude, but alas, it became too much and I decided to leave. It was heart-wrenching to leave the volunteers and the children and their families, but I knew that I needed to get out of this abusive situation. I am reminded about the apostle Paul talking about Alexandra and saying 'He did me much harm' and that is how I choose to look at this and keep my distance. I am a very easy going, non-aggressive person, but have learned through this to be more assertive and speak truth boldly if necessary (in love). I admire anyone who is in children's ministry and hopefully you will not get into a similar circumstance to mine.....

12/3/2008 5:49:38 PM
mimigcfc said: I feel like I have been living in this all alone but finding this article has been a blesssing. Some of the suggestions I have tried but without good results. I know that my whole family has been effected and things can not stay the same. I am discouraged, tired of the fight, burned out and extremely disappointed that after 13 years of total commitment, dedication and loyalty I am treated with such disrepect. The only thing that keeps me going is seeing it all throught the "cross of Christ". Will keep praying and working on keeping my heart right! There is comfort in knowing others have lived though such issues. Thanks.

5/26/2008 8:20:52 PM
cmjaquess said: Excellent article and listt of ideas about what to do when caught in a difficult relationship with the senior pastor. I would add one more idea: seek profressional counseling. We have a professional Christian therapist connected to our church. She was keenly aware of the difficulties staff was having with pastor and was a confidential sounding board. When I had a crisis of personal integrity due to the difficult relationship with our senior pastor, she helped me assess the situation, reframe the difficult parts of it -- helping me to compartmentalize the difficulties -- and refocus on ways I was being and could continue being an effective Children's Minister. Of course, none of this would have been effective without constant and deliberate prayer. Thankfully, our church and my ministry to children survived the tenure of this pastor until he was moved on to a church more suited to his ways of leading/managing. I learned a lot about prayer, patience, and God's grace through this situation.

5/23/2008 7:35:36 PM
mite2012 said: This was a very helpful article. My problem has been the pastor's preference of men over women. He has the idea that Youth Pastors grow up and become pastors, but the children's pastor is always a children's pastor (even though we have the same education and in this case I have 15 years more experience). It made me feel better to know I'm not the only person out there with these kinds of problems. Your advice was solid and biblical and I will be praying about what to do.

5/23/2008 6:48:31 AM
gaye.hattaway said: Thanks for this article. I am not experiencing this problem yet. But we have a strong senior pastor whom I love dearly; I will keep this article in mind and in a folder in case I ever need it. Thanks.

5/23/2008 6:48:27 AM
gaye.hattaway said: Thanks for this article. I am not experiencing this problem yet. But we have a strong senior pastor whom I love dearly; I will keep this article in mind and in a folder in case I ever need it. Thanks.

5/22/2008 7:34:15 PM
Courteney_3 said: This is great advice but very difficult to walk away from wonderful parents, kids and friends. I was truly making a difference in these kids lives but could not take the negative attitude, the put downs and the micro managing from our head pastor. I survived 5 years and my family began to suffer these past 2 years. I kept hoping she would leave before me. I recently resigned and I felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders. For anyone out there going through it. Don't wait it is more harmful to the children and families to stay than to leave.

5/22/2008 6:04:59 PM
n3jrd said: Thank you for your excellent artile! I left my job as CE Director last year...after 11 years! I loved those kids...and the congregation too. I still miss them...even though I am now working in another church. My problem...the Senior pastor's language! I really don't care if the conversations were "private"...using Christ's name in vain..and the "F" word are totally unacceptable for any pastor. And...she was NOT ready to retire. With encouragment of several church members and my family...I resigned and am now the Children's Ministry Director at another church. It was difficult to leave...but the right thing to do for me.